Virginia Crofford Zaun d. August 13, 2022

Born Virginia Maude Crofford on March 3, 1932 in Waukegan, Illinois, she moved with her family to Norfolk in 1942. (Although she had her 11th birthday party in Waukegan according to a newspaper article - maybe her father Horace moved here ahead of his family). The Croffords first lived in Portsmouth with a family friend (Souter) who urged them to come to Norfolk for job opportunities. 

Virginia grew up in Norfolk, attended Maury High School and the William and Mary campus in Norfolk, married John Beverly Zaun in 1952, and raised two daughters in the then rural Kempsville area of Virginia Beach. Her life and her many accomplishments are memorialized in a collection of documents kept in the Zaun family binder. 

Her passing has unleashed a fresh new interest in organizing and preserving family documents. It has been a tedious task to carefully sort through so many papers and photos, especially since she obsessively kept a dozen or more copies of everything! I am going through them with a fine-toothed comb, looking for bits of information that I may have missed in my ancestry research. Some of the family documents may have some historical significance and will need some follow up. 

As my sister and I are going through all of Mom's keepsakes and memorabilia, it becomes more clear exactly how much of one's life lives after them. 

Your memories die with you - a cold, hard truth.

Your most precious memories and all the things that you hold dear will die with you. That is a cold, hard truth about mortality. My niece recently observed that it only takes a generation or two to completely wipe out memories of a life. The tangible evidence of relationships, emotions, and experiences that molded and shaped a person will not matter at all to posterity. The only way that your memories can live after you is if you tell the stories to your children and other family members, write them in a blog, or publish them in a book, unless you happen to be famous enough for someone else to tell your story for you. 

It was an eye-opener for me when I held a box of keepsakes of my mother's. Inside the box, on top of all the assorted trinkets was a note that said, in large block letters, "KEEP FOREVER." To whom was she writing the note? Did she need to remind herself to keep them? Did she expect her children and grandchildren to hold onto these items without knowing their significance? Did she think that preserving these items for posterity would somehow give her immortality? 

As I rummaged through her precious keepsakes, I was saddened to realize that these things were absolutely meaningless to me. They are meaningless even to my mother at this point in her life. She no longer has the ability to retrieve these memories in her mind. Yet throughout her adulthood, she has carried boxes and boxes of this stuff from house to house... how much time and effort wasted! I doubt if she looked inside those boxes very often, if at all. 

All I could think about was the boxes of memorabilia that my own children will have to sort through when I am gone. These days, a person's memorabilia may include vast gigabytes of digital items. But in my mother's lifetime and in the first half of my own life, precious memories were all represented in tangible formats. Ribbons, cards, letters, buttons, and so many otherwise value-less things are stored in furniture, boxes, and trunks. Though they may be small things, together they take up a lot of space, in our homes and in our minds. 

Yes, each precious item brings back a special memory or evokes a strong emotion. However, the truth is, managing these things consumes valuable time that we could otherwise use to experience new feelings and make new memories. When we die, most of our precious things will be sold or donated or trashed. That is just a fact of life. So why not give your things a new life by letting them go, to perhaps be a joy to someone else? Liberate yourself from slavery to temporary things. Do a huge favor for your kids. 

Your life is more than your stuff. Tell the stories. The stories are what lives on. 

Update on our Mayflower connection

In a previous post - https://descenddance.blogspot.com/2018/01/mayflower.html - I outlined our Mayflower ancestry through my mother's maternal line. John Howland and Elizabeth Tilley are my 8th great grandparents. 

I knew there were other Mayflower passengers in my family tree, but have not been able to confirm. Then, along came this information from Matt, my cousin and fellow family researcher... Not only am I descended directly from John Howland on my mother's side, but am connected to him through marriage on my FATHER's side!!! Already I knew that my mother's and father's ancestors crossed paths and bloodlines several times in colonial days. (This topic will be another whole blog post in itself).

From Matt:

So, these are the most evident connections to the Mayflower, although I assume that there are likely to be several more within the groups these ancestors moved within.

First an Indirect Connection but Interesting (A Connection to the Direct Connection)
John Howland - his grandson Charles Dickinson married Phillip [sic] Green,* daughter of Major John Greene of Rhode Island and sister of Richard Greene (1660-1811) who married Elinor Sayles (1664-1714) their daughter Mary Greene (1706-1757) married Captain John Godfrey (1704-1756) who was the father of Captain Samuel Godfrey (1743-1831). So this connection is not direct. But:

Second the Direct Connection
Stephen Hopkins - his grandaughter Waitstill Snow married Joseph Sabin. Waitstill and Joseph's great-granddaughter was Patience Sabin (1751-1786) married Captain Samuel Godfrey (1743-1831) on 30 July 1769 in Providence, RI. Their daughter Elizabeth (Betsy) Godfrey (1779-1864) married Thomas Whitfield (1780-1830), and their daughter Sarah Gale (Sally) Whitfield (1811-1882) married John L. Abbott (1810-1898 in New York City on 11 Oct 1836. Of course, their son was Whitfield Barry Abbott (1844-1889).

This has given me a lot to chew on! I had Stephen Hopkins in my tree many years ago - I even bought a book about him - but deleted him when some of the genealogical evidence seemed sketchy. 

I will give it a second look.

*Phillip - could be Phillis or Phillipa. 

Ghost Dances

There is a story in my great-grandmother's history that begs to be told. Her extraordinary pioneer life intersects with some momentous events in the history of the western frontier, particularly in North and South Dakota and Wyoming. She lived at the time of Custer's Last Stand and the massacre at Wounded Knee, and was closely associated with some of the important people involved. 

Ada Clemina Hall was born on July 18, 1856 in Chittenango, NY. Both her father Andrew Adam Hall and her mother Miriam Olivia Wandell Hall were born in the Westchester County in NY. They married in 1850. Andrew Hall's family can be traced back to the original colony of Connecticut. Miriam's family is mostly of Dutch heritage. Her grandfather, Jacob Wandell was a wealthy merchant on the Hudson River during the time of the Revolutionary War. 

Shortly after Ada's birth, Andrew took his family and moved west, to Ontonagon, Michigan. There, he worked in the copper mines. In 1861, a famously charismatic Army recruiter came to Detroit, and induced Andrew to sign up for the military. He served as a surgical assistant in the 1st Michigan Volunteer Infantry and participated in the Peninsular Campaign in Virginia. He did laundry for other soldiers for 10 cents, and sent the money home to his struggling family.  He was with General McClellan during the Seven Days Battle in Richmond, Virginia, during which he contracted dysentery. He spent six months in a hospital on David's Island in New York before returning to his wife and children in 1863; he was a mere skeleton of less than 100 pounds. Ada described what it was like to be so poor. She said their clothing had worn so thin that it was nearly transparent. 

The family moved to Marquette, Michigan, where Andrew worked in the mines. Then they moved to Brainerd, Michigan, where Andrew became a bridge builder. He helped to build the bridge for the Northern Pacific Railroad across the Red River to Fargo, North Dakota, opening up new land on the frontier. He also helped to build one of the first frame houses in Fargo. Most of the residents lived in rough cabins or tents, however, and that is how the Hall family lived during the Grasshopper Plague. Ada describes the scene:

Grasshoppers came that first year, 1871. They darkened the sky which when looked up at, shone like silver with their flashing wings. They ate the sides out of our tents, the linen coat off my father's back while he was mowing... 

by Mrs. H. C. Crofford, "Pioneer Days in North Dakota, " in North Dakota Historical Quarterly, II, 129-137.

Ada taught school in Fargo, and later at Fort Lincoln where the Halls lived for a year in 1876. She became friends with General Custer's wife. Family lore is that Ada let her students out of school to wave to the soldiers as they left for Little Big Horn. I can't help but think that Ada and Elizabeth Custer shared a love of writing and history, as both of them wrote memoirs of their experiences and published papers in defense of Custer. Ada's paper in defense of Custer is housed in a museum in Newcastle, Wyoming. You can read it HERE.

Around 1877, Andrew and his family, with an Army escort, traveled by wagon train to settle in the Black Hills. Travelers were warned not to go ahead or lag behind the procession as it was dangerous Indian territory. One young couple ignored the warnings and went on ahead. The travelers came upon them and found them slaughtered.

The Hall family settled on a ranch near Fort Meade (now Sturgis) in South Dakota, which was established in 1878 to protect illegal white settlements and gold mines on the Sioux Reservation in the northern Black Hills (Wikipedia, Fort Meade, South Dakota). The local men would gather at "Old Man Hall's" house to discuss the recent Indian uprisings. They were particularly concerned about the Ghost Dances which were part of a religious movement among the Native Americans who believed that the spirits of the dead would return and protect them against the white man. The spread of this cult culminated in the massacre at Wounded Knee in 1890 (Britannica, Ghost Dance). At one of these gatherings at the Hall ranch, a young gold miner named Horace Calvin Crofford attended and met Ada Hall. They married in 1891. 

Ada's brother Ed married a Native American woman named Mary Amiotte (pictured below) in 1897 and lived with her and their children on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in Sterling, South Dakota - the location of the Wounded Knee massacre. 

Disclaimer: I am not a historian, so forgive me if any historical facts are off. Much of my information comes from Ada's writings and family lore, which have proven to have a few "close but not quite" details. I will add more to this post as I continue my research. 

 

 

 

The Rift: a sad story of the Bryants of Virginia

Something happened long ago that tore the Bryant family apart. My father told of a mysterious "rift" between his maternal grandmother, Ida Rene, and her twin sister Addie, but he had no idea what it was about. This legacy was passed down through the next three generations, though no one remembered the original cause. When I asked, the grownups would just shrug and claim not to know. No one could explain. It was just an accepted thing. We rarely associated with our cousins in Virginia Beach. 

This was an anomaly in our family. We had a close, warm relationship with other distant relatives. We dutifully made the annual trek to Richmond from Virginia Beach to visit my father's large, extended family - great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and cousins two and three times removed. I remember thinking it was strange that we never visited cousins who lived in our own city. 

To give some background, the twins, Ida and Addie, grew up in Southampton County, Virginia. There were born in 1868 to Eley and Margaret Bryant, who were poor, illiterate farmers. Margaret and Eley had ten children, five of whom lived to adulthood. 

• Charles became a piano dealer in New Jersey and married a wealthy widow, Maria Harper. 
• William married Bonnie Abbott from Fort Lee, New Jersey. 
• Ida Rene married George Abbott from Fort Lee, New Jersey (Bonnie's half-brother). 
• Addie, Ida's twin, married Blucher Fletcher from Moyock, NC. 
• Gattie Jane married John F. Chappell from Princess Anne County, and then Dr. Edwin Stanton Davis from Manhattan, NY. 

All of Margaret and Eley's children and their spouses played a part in "the rift." But I'll get to that... 

Three generations later, in the 1990's, something serendipitous occurred. My sister Holly and her husband befriended a couple (Jim and Terry) in their Sunday School class. The couples were friends for months without knowing their true relationship. One day, by chance, Terry mentioned that her father was a dentist in Kempsville for many years. Holly, surprised, asked her if her father was Charlie Fletcher - why yes, he is! Holly immediately recognized how much Terry resembled our little red-haired grandmother Jacqueline Abbott. 3rd cousins! They lived in the same city all their lives and had never met. 

The twins, Ida and Addie, were finally reunited through their great-grandchildren after 100 years! In another miraculous turn, Matt, the great-grandson of William Bryant from New Jersey, recently joined his 3rd cousins in Virginia, bringing the Bryant-Abbott family full circle. 

So what caused this mysterious rift? 

Digging into the Bryant family history, I discovered some other surprises and baffling mysteries. Some of them involve Ida Rene and her many marriages and children which are written about in another post.

How did some of the Bryants - poor farmers from rural southside Virginia - end up in New Jersey? How did they merge with the Abbotts, a successful piano making family? A possible explanation has to do with the railroad, which was extended to Southampton County in 1888. William Bryant went to NJ in the 1890's looking for work. He met Bonnie Abbott, a coworker in a hat factory. Bonnie became pregnant in late 1899, and she traveled by railroad to Norfolk where she and William had a quick marriage in January 1900 performed by a preacher in the church parsonage. In 1904, Ida married George, Bonnie's half-brother. Charles Bryant moved to NJ around 1911 and sold pianos (perhaps made by the Abbotts?). 

In 1886, Margaret and Eley sold their farm Southampton County, where both of their families had lived since Colonial days, and moved to the Blackwater area of Princess Anne County. Addie and "Bluke" bought a nearby farm in 1890. Then Eley died unexpectedly in 1895. William and Bonnie lived with Margaret for a time, but then moved back to New Jersey around 1900 (their child did not survive). Margaret rented out the farm in Princess Anne County and moved to Richmond to live with Ida. Why did she live with Ida and not Addie who lived just down the road? Perhaps there were already the beginnings of some hard feelings between Addie and Margaret.

Here’s what happened. 

When Eley died intestate in 1895, Margaret deliberately failed to notify authorities so that she could keep the farm. Otherwise, by law, it would have gone through probate and would have had to be sold, with half the proceeds divided among her four living adult children. Margaret collected rent from the farm after she moved to Richmond to live with Ida, and continued to earn income by selling lumber from the property. It seems Addie resented this financial arrangement. 

In April 1908, 13 years after her father died, Addie Fletcher sued her mother over her rightful inheritance. The legal proceedings included depositions from her children and their spouses, including Ida and George Abbott. In a potentially disastrous complication, their recently deceased sibling, Gattie Jane, had held the note on the farm. When she died in early 1908 in Manhattan, her will left the note to her husband, Dr. Stanton. In gracious assent, upon request from Charles Bryant, Dr. Stanton sent the deed, not to Margaret or Charles, but directly to a lawyer in Norfolk. 

The next month, Margaret boarded a train in Richmond, bound for Norfolk. We will never be sure of her purpose, but it’s reasonable to believe it had to do with the lawsuit. Sadly, she never quite made it. She had "apoplexy" on the train and was rushed to the house of D. W. Godwin at 914 Greene Street in Portsmouth, where she died three days later (May 8, 1908 at 5:30 p.m.), with her four living children gathered at her bedside, Charles, William, Addie, and Ida. Did she have a stroke brought on by the extreme stress of getting sued by her own daughter? The timing seems more than coincidence. If so, it is no wonder the family fell apart. The fact that Margaret’s daughter Gattie Jane died earlier that same year may have just been too much heartbreak to handle.

Did the siblings ever reconcile? In a letter to Bluke Jr. in September 1909, Ida sent love through Bluke to her sister and expressed sorrow at their broken relationship. She told Bluke how she tried to connect with Addie on a visit to Norfolk, but Addie would not see her. 

There is a photo of the sisters with Charles and Maria, who married in 1911 in New Jersey. If the photo was taken near that date, they may have made some kind of truce. 

In a 1924 letter to Bluke Jr., Charles wrote, "how's your Mother and Father [Addie and Bluke Sr.] give my love to them when you write again. I thought your mother and Ida were coming to see us 2 years ago." Did that visit ever happen?

Charlie Fletcher, born in 1926, lived in the same house with Addie and his parents. He remembers that suddenly his family did not go to Richmond to visit family anymore. He didn’t understand why at the time, but this was probably due to Ida’s death in 1933. However, Charlie remembers his Uncle “Billie” coming to visit them from New Jersey. He also remembers visits from his namesake, Uncle Charlie Bryant. The Bryant siblings, it seems, worked through their issues regarding the lawsuit and Margaret’s untimely death.

After Ida died, her children, except for Jacqueline, remained in Richmond. “Jack” and Ernie moved to Norfolk after the Depression. Ernie lived with Addie in Norfolk until he could find a job and a place to live for his young family. After Addie died in 1948, and maybe even before that, the two families drifted apart again. 

Now, a century after “the rift,” the great-grandchildren of Ida, Addie, and William have joyfully rediscovered each other. They are working together to find the stories in their mutual family history. 

Full circle.

The remaining mystery now is the location of Eley and Margaret's graves. In 1924, Charles Bryant writes to Bluke Jr., "I must see if I can't get someone to look after Father and Mother's graves," implying that they are buried together. Since Eley died in 1895 and Margaret in 1908, their graves could be on the property in Blackwater which had not yet been sold. However, by 1924, the land was long out of their hands. The property is a 42-acre field today, totally cleared of trees and plowed under. The original house is gone. There is no sign or indication of a possible burial site. There are no records of their graves in any church cemeteries. The funeral home that handled the transportation and burial of Margaret's body was sold long ago, and the records of her burial lost in the transfer. 

Bosworths of Wichita

Exciting new discovery on ancestry.com! Two days ago I discovered that someone had posted a photo of my orphan grandmother’s uncle and family, taken c1895. I spent a Saturday morning studying their faces and eagerly looking for more information about them. 

It was touching to realize how much the man in this photo (Richard Bosworth) must have adored his sister Eva Bosworth Allen (my gg grandmother). He named two of his daughters Eva. And when Augustus, Eva, and Ethelyn moved to Wichita, Kansas in 1900, Richard Bosworth and his family followed shortly thereafter. It was especially moving to realize that my ten-year-old grandmother, Teresa (née Ethelyn), would have known her cousins before she was sent to an orphanage. According to a newspaper article, the two families were having dinner together at a birthday party for my great grandfather in March 1903. My poor grandmother lost not only her parents, but also her whole extended family at a very tender age.

As I looked into the lives of each one of people in this photo, it began to dawn on me that they may be the key to unlocking the cause of death of my great grandmother Eva L. Allen. This has been one of my longstanding genealogy puzzles! I noticed that Richard and three of his five children died within a short time, between 1907 and 1910. Death records verify that two of them died of tuberculosis. It is a safe assumption that the others died of tuberculosis as well. Eva would have been either living with them, or spending a great deal of time with them in those years as she was a “widow” (actually divorced), and had a close relationship with her brother. She died in 1911, probably of the same tuberculosis that killed most of her brother’s family. She died in a hospital as there was no family left to care for her. Her gravestone is in the Old Fort Supply cemetery in Woodward, Oklahoma.

I have had a hard time shaking the sadness for my family who lived so long ago, and suffered so much.

Front: Richard Bosworth, Ellen, Roy, and Maude Eva Back: Harry, George, Eva Pearl. Richard, Harry, George, and Pearl died before 1910. The 1910 U.S. Census shows Ellen as head of household, living with granddaughter Marguerite, age 8 (child of Pearl?). The same year, the census shows Eva L. Allen, widow, (pictured below) living at the Oklahoma Hospital for the Insane. 

Evaluating Information

When I first began doing genealogy research, I took an online course and did a lot of reading on research strategies and on the importance of building a family tree that is based on verified, irrefutable evidence. I found that it is far too easy to expand your family tree very quickly but with many errors. You can build a beautiful family tree, but if it is built on unverified evidence, the whole thing can come tumbling down like a house of cards. I have had to backtrack several times and delete people from my tree, and it can be heartbreaking.

One of the ways to evaluate and verify information is to look at it from different perspectives. I have studied maps, created spreadsheets, made lists, written timelines, looked at local history, compared notes with other researchers, and visited places in person. A timeline especially can be helpful in determining information that does not make sense. It is through a timeline that I recently discovered a major error. I had been relying heavily on a source that was not reliable. Now, I must regroup and reevaluate everything that I have presumed thus far. It is quite humbling.

Truth is the Holy Grail!