Joining a genealogy group

A post showed up on my Facebook feed a few weeks ago promoting a genealogy event in my area hosted by a local genealogy group that I didn't even know existed. They appear to be a very organized and enthusiastic group. I attended the event online and it was so helpful. It was about how to organize and preserve ancestry records and materials for posterity. It was exactly the boost I needed to move forward with my research, as I had become paralyzed by the enormous amount of material I've gathered in my years of research.

I sent in my dues and registration and received so much information about resources available through the group. I'm excited to begin exploring. They requested a brief bio of me as a new member, and a description of my research goals for their quarterly newsletter. This may be a way to get further help with finally locating the graves of my great great grandparents.

So here goes:

Thank you for welcoming me to your group and for introducing me to so many new local ancestry resources. I'm excited to meet everyone, and hopeful that this will give me the boost I need to move forward in my research. I have questions springing from my local research that I'm hoping to resolve. If you enjoy solving mysteries, please read my story!

I grew up in the Kempsville area of Virginia Beach and have lived locally all of my life. My parents and grandparents lived in the area as well as many 1st cousins on both sides of my family. I was interested in our family tree when I was as young as twelve years old, and I created a beautiful family tree poster which I still have. My mother was a member of DAR and wrote many letters back and forth to distant cousins in her lifetime, but it wasn't until around 2012 - after my four sons were grown and on their own - that I started working on my own research. 

Prior to my research, I didn't think we had deep roots in Tidewater Virginia. We were aware of distant cousins here in Virginia Beach, but we were told that a long ago "rift" caused an estrangement in the family that affected subsequent generations. My father knew about The Rift, as we called it, but didn't know what caused it; neither did my grandmother. Extended family in Richmond also knew about it. As a child, I always wondered why we would travel to Richmond to visit family but never visited relatives in our own hometown. My sister and I, as adults, ultimately developed a close relationship with these hometown cousins. They were as mystified about The Rift as we were.

I finally had a breakthrough about three years ago. Since 2012, I have been writing a blog about my research journey (www.descenddance.blogspot.com). Through my blog, I connected with a distant cousin in New Jersey, Matt, who happened to be doing his professional genealogy certification project on our mutual g-g-grandmother, Margaret Bryant. He was using my blog as a resource for his project. We met in person in 2022 and began working together on our research. 

My newfound cousin Matt came across a thick file in the Library of Virginia's archives containing documents about a lawsuit brought against Margaret by her own daughter, Addie. He also found newspaper articles about Margaret's death from "apoplexy" (stroke) in 1908 which occurred on a train trip from Richmond to Norfolk, as the 70-year-old widow was on her way to Norfolk to respond to the lawsuit. It is reasonable to conclude that her stroke was indirectly caused by the court case. This would certainly be a plausible explanation for the major rift in the family between Addie and her three living siblings! Mystery solved! My formerly estranged Virginia Beach cousins are descended from Addie; I am descended from Addie's twin sister, Ida.

Of course, answers only lead to more questions. My great-great grandparents, Eley and Margaret Bryant, were from families who had lived in Southampton County since colonial times. For economic reasons, they moved to Princess Anne County around 1885 to what they called "Land of Promise Plantation" (not associated with the present farm by that name). A visit to the courthouse in Virginia Beach helped us to identify the location of this property - 40 acres at the intersection of Blackwater and Head of River Roads. Shortly afterward, their daughter Addie and her husband purchased land on both sides of Pungo Ferry Road where it intersected with Blackwater.  

When Eley unexpectedly died in 1895, Margaret did not report his death. If she had, she would have been legally required to sell the farm and divide the proceeds with her children. Instead, she moved to Richmond to live with her daughter Ida (Addie's twin) and continued to take in rent from the farm and income from the sale of lumber from the property. In 1908, Addie sued her mother Margaret for her rightful portion of her father's inheritance; after Margaret's death in 1908, the farm was sold. Addie received her share, 1/4 of $117.31. 

My first quest: The newspaper articles mention that Margaret's body was sent for burial to "Hickory Ground," a train station at the Norfolk County end of Head of River Road. My burning question is, where are Eley and Margaret buried? A 1926 letter from her son Charles indicates that their graves are together and were being cared for by family. Since Margaret buried Eley secretly, I am assuming they were both buried on the farm at Blackwater and Head of River Roads. However, I knocked on the door of the current owner of the property, and she stated that she had walked every inch of that land and there are no graves. I am thinking they have to be there somewhere under the soybeans. My next move will be to go to the courthouse to find the 1909 deed of sale and see if there are graves marked on the plat. 

My second quest: I discovered that my great grandmother, Ida Rene Bryant (Addie's twin) was married at least five times (big surprise, we only knew of two). On her marriage record to William Butler in 1895, she is named as "Ida Rena Williams, widow." I have been trying to find out the identity of her deceased husband by the last name Williams. This is important because Ida's son Earl Butler was born in 1892, but she didn't marry William Butler until 1895. Who was Earl's biological father, Williams or Butler?  The Bryant farm in Blackwater was close to the Williams family... was someone in that family married to Ida? I have not been able to find any record of that marriage or death. 

This is just one branch of my family tree, but it is the only branch with history in Virginia Beach. I hope someone reading this will have a brilliant idea for where to find the answers to my questions!

Putting it all together

My bucket list includes writing a book. In my mind, this could not be accomplished until my life was in order and stability achieved. Finally, in retirement, in my forever home, with all crises managed, I am able to start working on compiling our family stories into a book.

It's hard! Just determining the organization of information is a huge challenge. A chronological account is way too complex and daunting. Stand-alone stories seem disjointed and lack meaningful relationship connections. I've pondered this for a very long time - years in fact. And one day, it just came to me. I will organize all of our stories and information by categories, with interesting chapter titles and catchy opening lines. 

Here are the categories I've settled on so far. I will keep adding to this list as this concept congeals in my mind. It's a sorting game! I'll try to fit all of our best stories into the chapters where they fit best. It's amazing how my research seems to fit neatly into categories like this:

Cemeteries (final resting places): surprisingly, the source some of the most exciting revelations.

Immigrants: who were the first in our lines of descent to come to America?

Notables and other colorful characters: the well-known folks and standouts in our ancestry.

Emotional Moments: the research findings that brought tears and excitement over the past decade.

Slices of Time: capturing the big picture across all branches of our family tree at certain historically important times.

Family Connections to Virginia Beach History

My parents moved to Princess Anne County from Norfolk in 1959. In my early childhood, our address was Princess Anne County. Until 1963, the town of Virginia Beach existed only on a strip of land at the oceanfront - a quaint cottage village compared to today's bustling commercial tourist destination. When we went to the "beach" it was a pilgrimage from our home in "the county." We parked in the sand and ate picnic lunch from the trunk of our car. 

My father's parents resided in Norfolk, leaving their families and their home in Richmond during the Depression. My mother's parents had moved to Norfolk from "out west" in the 1940s. Though both sets of grandparents lived nearby, I always knew our family was not originally from the area. 

I was lucky to grow up in the "town" of Kempsville. As an early settler in one of the first suburban housing developments in Kempsville, there was a sense of belonging that still holds strong. Back then, there were still plenty of farms and undeveloped land all around us and miles of desolate country roads. We ate fresh produce from farm markets, much of which we picked ourselves. We had milk delivered from the nearby dairy farm. I share common memories with hundreds of neighbors and classmates who all stay connected to Kempsville in one way or another.

Dr. Fletcher was the only dentist in the area. His office in Kempsville was a small brick building behind the fire station in Kempsville. Dad said he was our cousin. Curious! I have written before about "the rift" between my great grandmother and her twin sister so I won't repeat, but I learned eventually about my distant relatives in Virginia Beach. It was surprising and satisfying to learn that my 2X great grandparents were once farmers in the Blackwater area of Virginia Beach. My dad never even knew about this connection. My grandmother never mentioned it.

I am completely invested in the history of Virginia Beach, having worked for the city all of my life. 

Then, I happened to marry into an old "county" family. I heard all the familiar names from the old Princess Anne County days... Waterfield, Flanagan, Whitehurst, Malbon, Mansfield, Henley, Cox, Kellam... these names are still active in Virginia Beach social and cultural life. In my quest to find the graves of my great great grandparents, I became immersed in the history of the area. I discovered that the old names from the county are intertwined with my own family. 

For years I've been drawn to the story of Grace Sherwood, the Witch of Pungo - Virginia Beach's cultural icon. She has become especially significant to me for several reasons:

• My uncle's parents lived at the very end of Witchduck Road at the presumed spot where Grace was ducked. For many years, our family celebrated Easter on the bank of the Lynnhaven River at that place. 
• Also, my father's parents lived in a house on Witchduck Road when I was 4 or 5 years old.
• Grace Sherwood's house and farm were on Muddy Creek Road in Pungo where my parents once considered purchasing land.
• As a teenager, I visited the home of Louisa Venable Kyle who wrote the children's book, The Witch of Pungo. 
• My ex-spouse's uncle drew the portrait on which the Grace Sherwood statue was based...the likeness was actually that of a family member. The statue stands at the corner of Witchduck Road and Independence Blvd. 

I just finished reading the newest, definitive work about The Witch of Pungo, by Scott Moore. So interesting to read about all the names and places that have been familiar to me all of my life.