Sunday, January 17, 2016

Jacqueline Gail Zaun, 1934-2016

My father's younger sister passed away this week.  She was 81 years old, but far from thinking that her time on earth was at an end.  She had lost her adult son to cancer, but she continued to live the dream - children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, winters in Virginia and summers in Florida. She had an active retirement lifestyle including golf, boating, playing bridge and socializing with her many friends, and even skydiving! She was involved in her church, and also in many philanthropic activities throughout her life. She made friends everywhere she went, and secretly assisted many achieve their dreams. She married the love of her life and they lived together happily for 61 years.

Gail was the youngest of her generation in our family. She was born into a family that was very close, a family where multi-generations and sometimes extended family lived in the same house or very nearby. The deep attachment to family was part of her soul. There was great sadness when her beloved father was forced to move from Richmond to Norfolk in search of work. For a while, her mother cried all the time living so far from her family.
Gail (center) with some of her Richmond relatives
The young Zaun family lived in a tiny, two-bedroom apartment in Norfolk for many years, sometimes welcoming other family members into their cramped quarters to live. They later moved in the house at 4306 Newport Avenue. Gail says that she remembers thinking hat house was a mansion compared to the apartment! In truth, it was a tiny two-story house, only one room wide, but with a big front porch and a huge side yard. Gail was so excited to get the largest bedroom in the house. (My father, four years older, was put into the smaller "nursery" where stars glowed on the ceiling). This house had steep, wooden stairs to the second floor. Gail's father sternly warned her never to come down the stairs in her stockings because of the danger of slipping. One day she heard a terrible thumping and bumping, and ran to find her father sprawled at the bottom of the steps... in his stocking-ed feet. Gail also remembered a time when she closed the front door on a young sailor who was aggressively trying to court her. He climbed up on a chair and tried to talk to her through the transom, attempting to convince her to let him in. Gail and her brother, Bev, had a happy childhood. They attended Maury High School, where Gail made lifelong friendships. Some of these friends were at her funeral.
Maury High School grad with brother, Bev
The Zauns were too poor to own a car, so they walked to the closest church, the Christian Temple at 33rd and Llewellyn.  There is where Gail and later, her own children were married.  Her parents were involved in that church all of their lives; her father was a beloved teacher of the adult Sunday School class until his untimely death at age 47. The minister at the Christian Temple buried her mother Jacqueline four decades later.

Gail remembered keeping a diary as a young girl, in which she sometimes fabricated details of her life. When her mother eventually found this diary, it was taken as fact, and Gail got in big trouble! Writing was a passion for Gail - in her lifetime, she wrote many letters and poems to family and friends. She once wrote a romantic note to Joe:  "Just call me Wee Wee, 'cause I'm all Urine." Letter-writing was her main form of communication. She and her husband Joe never had a computer, or even a basic cell phone until late in life. They were proudly resistant to technology. She knew nothing about blogging or Facebook, which probably would have satisfied her social and emotional needs perfectly. Good, or bad?  I do not judge. I should be blessed with so many friends.
Joe and Gail
Gail and Joe adopted a daughter, Katherine Gail, when they lived in a small house on Green Kemp Road in Virginia Beach, and two years later a son, Joseph Glenn. About ten years later, Gail became mysteriously ill.  She went to doctors and had tests done, but could not determine the source. They finally figured it out - she was pregnant. They joyfully welcomed Sandra Lynn into the family.

They lived in in Alanton in Virginia Beach where, true to character, they established many lifelong friendships. For a time, Gail's mother Jacqueline lived in their home as she battled with alcoholism and finally got back on her feet. Gail attended to her mother faithfully, through some very difficult times. Joe invested in a sand lot on the water on Bay Island, and they eventually built a house there.  They hosted family holidays at their gracious home for the extended family, which included her brother's family. The whole family celebrated Easter together at Joe's parents' home at the end of Witchduck Road for more than a decade.

Easter at the Watsons' home on Witchduck Road in 1989
Gail's occupation was being Joe's wife. It worked for them for 61 years.

Gail and Joe's children married and moved away - Kathy to Northern Virginia, Glenn to North Carolina, and Sandi to Vancouver, Canada.  Thus began a nomadic lifestyle for them. They sold their home on Bay Island and bought a condo in Virginia Beach, and another one in Ft. Myers, Florida.  They flew to visit their children and grandchildren, or hosted their children's visits whenever they were in Virginia Beach.  Gail's closeness with her Richmond cousins continued strong... she and Teeny and Peggy talked often. Together they put a long-overdue headstone on their Abbott grandparents' grave at Bethlehem cemetery.

Death has a way of shaking up families, for better or worse.  When her brother (my father) died in 1998, and then her mother six months later, the family was never the same. Gail carried this grief the rest of her life. She found peace in the end, and was joyful even in her fear. Her last words to everyone... I love you.


Her funeral was a lovely tribute to a lovely and gracious woman. She was at peace at the end, knowing her death was near. She had no pain, only sorrow at leaving her loved ones, especially Joe. She wrote dozens of letters to family and friends, many of which were received after her death.  These letters told of her love and gratitude for her family, and of her concern for their own personal lives. The church was packed with family and friends, and even friends of family.

Today, the burial will be private, just family.  She will be laid to rest near her parents, her son Glenn, and Joe's parents at Rosewood Cemetery in Virginia Beach.  She can rest in peace, assured that her death has brought her family together in love.

1 comment:

  1. I hope that others in the family will add their own memories here, stream of consciousness style! Flashes of childhood memories - family movies taken with a huge camera that had bright lights mounted on a two feet bar across the top, pretty lacy nylon nightgowns hanging on the back of the bathroom door, their foam mattress that was super soft, succotash, bridge, nut bowls, spice drops, Christmas tree tinsel, Nags Head cottage, Peppy, Glenn climbing the trellis to the rooftop, crabbing, Lincoln Logs (my own children's memories), yellow, green and gold decor, sunken living room (forbidden except for special occasions), boating, watching Mike and Josh get dumped by a Hobie Cat and Glenn diving in to rescue them, looking for Santa Claus in the sky on the way home after Christmas Eve dinner, Kathy flapping, David Sims falling out of the tree and breaking both arms, Dad scaring the cat by dropping a phone book flat on the floor...

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