"We are all what we've come from. Sometimes that's comfortable with other people and sometimes it's not."
~Miriam Vaughan, 2013
I think my life has been pretty cool so far. I've had my ups and downs but overall, it's been good. Some remarkable things stand out:
As a young girl, I had wonderful summer experiences on my family's farm. I rode a horseback all over the countryside with my cousin; one memorable hot day, I rode right into the pond on a playful horse. My idea of big fun! I met entertainment celebrities because of my father's job. I was a contestant in a beauty pageant. I crewed on sailboats that won trophies in regattas. I traveled to Europe by myself. I've flown into the bottom of the Grand Canyon by helicopter. I climbed to the top floor of the Hancock Building in Chicago.
Professionally, I had a successful 25-year career as an elementary school librarian, receiving the top honor of Teacher of the Year and achieving National Board Certification. I created a college-level curriculum from scratch and taught a university class of 100 students while managing six Teacher Assistants. I wrote three articles that were published in professional magazines. I've become a professional artist in retirement, selling paintings in gift shops, instructing classes, and even having an art piece displayed in a museum exhibit.
Spiritually, I've taught adult Bible classes for more than thirty years. I've laid hands on a U.S. Congressman and prayed for him. I've performed solos and played guitar in a traveling singing group, and directed a church choir for several years. My faith is the wind beneath my wings.
Personally, I raised four amazing boys, pouring myself into them and giving them every possible opportunity to find their place in the world. I have several true blue close friendships, some dating back to my youth, when most people are lucky to have one or two. I belong to several fun and stimulating social groups that keep my calendar full. I made some terrible mistakes and did some embarrassing things in my life, and I live with regrets, but manage to shake off the self-castigation most of the time.
Financially, I've always lived frugally but have never wanted for anything.
Certainly many in this present day have better lives and greater adventures than I have. Many have faced greater adversities. I am not particularly adventurous or brave. My experiences in total represent a highly privileged and fairly trouble-free life.
There is an awareness that has changed me - the awareness that the ridiculously easy life that I have is in shocking contrast to the lives and experiences of the generations before me. I have an easy life because of them. Their ambitions, sacrifices, bravery, and struggles built the foundation on which I rest my lazy, pampered bones.
When I began pursuing my family genealogy in earnest in 2012, I knew very little of my family's history beyond my grandparents. I had some vague memories of bits and pieces of family lore. I was lucky enough to have four living grandparents, and was born into a close-knit extended family. I even knew one set of great-grandparents and visited them regularly.
Many in my family were storytellers. I often wish I had listened better! From them I learned that any personal experience can be fodder for a hilarious story, no matter how humiliating or upsetting it was for the subject. I took my turn being the mortified subject. There was lots of laughter and these stories often grew as details were embellished over time. My father was a fisherman. Tall tales were the nature of things.
In my early teens, I was able to interview my father's paternal grandmother about her parents and siblings and I created a primitive family tree on poster board, which I still have. Beyond that, my interest in genealogy was fleeting. I had a life to live and better things to do! My eyes glazed over with boredom when my mother tried to get me interested in stories about relatives that I had never heard of and had no interest in knowing.
My mother was of the generation that had to research genealogy the hard way. She wrote letters to organizations, and sent inquiries to government agencies. She connected with distant cousins and exchanged long, detailed letters sharing photos, documents, and other information. She even visited distant relatives on the other side of the country. She could only focus on her paternal side, however, and her findings were quite limited. Her information had breadth but not depth.
My mother's paternal family was easy to trace, as both my grandfather and his mother, a prolific writer, were passionate about preserving and sharing family history. My mother's maternal side, however was in shadow. Her birth and parentage were completely unknown. My maternal grandmother was raised as an orphan in Texas and knew almost nothing about her parents. Some of what she did know was in error.
My father's family, by contrast, was a large, loving, and affectionate group, extending to 3rd cousins and beyond. I was lucky to be as close to 2nd and 3rd cousins as I was to my 1st cousins. I heard all the family names and knew most of them. I was close to many of my great aunts and uncles. There weren't many unanswered questions about my paternal heritage...
...that is, until I started digging.
